Science, the church, and even the government have been trying to come up with an explanation on how gays become gays. But for most homosexuals, this state is inborn and they believe that they do not have to adjust anything about themselves since everything that they are has been set. People, specifically straight conservative ones, wonder why gays “multiply by the second”. It is their knowledge that gay people cannot in fact “give birth”, then why do gay communities grow so fast? And no one can seem to stop this growth. This is happening because more and more gays are now coming out of their closets. Depending on the personality, gay people either rush out of the closet or try to find the ‘perfect’ time first, considering the people around specially their parents.
There are several questions that gay people consider before coming out to their parents. Like “Will my mom and pop accept the “real” me?” “What would be their reaction?” “Would they disown me?” or “What changes would occur when I come out?” These are just a few of the queries that alarms their thoughts and all of which are difficult to find answers unless they actually do the ‘confession’. It might be a normal initial reaction for parents to either get surprised or shocked or even get angry when they hear the admission. Coming out to parents is just the start. And as time passes by, people would recognize how brave a gay person is by admitting their sexuality. These tips are in general and would definitely be a case to case basis. Equipping one’s self with the information that the parents would need to hear when coming out of the closet would also be very helpful. But until then, try these tips when you are ready to tell your parents what they really need to know about you.
Tip number 1: Know who you are really close to. Some would say that mothers are more open to this kind of situation. However, it would really be of great help if you open up to which parent you are closer, so as to have a more comfortable talk.
Tip number 2: Make the atmosphere light yet steady. Try not to over introduce your confession. Some become very nervous and they tend to talk way too much until it goes out of hand or it becomes awkward, go straight to the point. Maybe having some wine with the parent (or parents if you are equally close to both) would help ease the tension.
Tip number 3: Do not involve anyone else, like a sibling or a friend. Having someone else with you when coming out to parents will build up stiffness and it might make your parent or parents anticipate more and more until they become anxious. You do not need any other emotions lurking when speaking about your issue.
Tip number 4: Do give them some assurance that being gay is not becoming a different person. It’s just relaying your real emotions towards relationships and certain choices.
Tip number 5: If and when you are done with your speech and your parents’ reaction is on the negative side, do not try pushing too hard, let them take their time to absorb what you have just said. On the other hand, if their reaction is on a positive note, thanking them is not enough, let them know that you really appreciate that they understand you.
Author: Roger Stewart “Taste My Rainbow.”