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Key to a successful relationship is good communication.

September 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The key to a successful reilationship is good communication. From romantic relationships to professional relationships to parent-child relationships, it is important individuals learn to and are able to effectively communicate with each other.

Why is communication important? Good communication can and will increase the satisfaction of your life just as bad communication can and will reduce it. How so?

Well, we all have something to say and we all wish to relate our needs, desires, thoughts, and emotions to our romantic partners, co-workers, children, friends, and loved ones. Sharing our thoughts allows us to express our feelings, it relieves stress, and it is important for building a bond and strengthening the relationship. More importantly, if you communicate well you’re more likely to be well-liked and respected.

Communication is always important, but particularly important during time of conflicts and stress. It will prevent (or minimize) misunderstandings which can lead to unnecessary arguments. These are the times when our personal feelings and biases come into play and what we say is often reflected in our feelings, insecurities, and limiting beliefs. If you practice good communication skills, however, it will help you resolve conflicts at a faster rate.

Tips to Enhance Your Communication and Your Relationships

Listen: Listen to what you are being told. A person’s words are a good give away of what they want from you. Try not to add your own interpretation of their words. Repeat what they say in different words and see if your partner agrees with you.

Attention: When someone is trying to communicate with you, place your full attention on that person. Sometimes it’s tempting to split your attention between your partner and the television/ work/ other activity. It can even be tempting to just tune your partner out. This is hurtful and can cause your partner to feel insignificant to you.

Body language: A picture tells 1000 words. So does your body language. What is your body


language saying? Through your body language you can convey annoyance, boredom, love, disinterest, etc. It is best when body language matches what you are trying to say.

Be direct & concise: Often times we speak in code (especially women) and just want our loved one to guess what we want. Sometimes we say one thing hoping s/he will know we mean another thing. Of course this leads to confusion, fights, frustration, and disappointment. Be honest and direct (get to the point) when communicating.

Think ahead: Most of us (if not all of us) can recall saying something only to regret it as its coming out of our mouths. Words can be wounding. When communicating with your partner stay in the present moment and think about how your words will affect your partner and impact your relationship. Remember, once you say it you can’t take it back.

Need to be right: While it’s great to be right, we are seldom right all the time. Many times your discussion has nothing to do with who is right and everything to do with understanding where each of you is coming from. If there is a right or wrong, it’s important both parties accept responsibility for their own mistakes. Do not make your argument about whose mistake is bigger, or different, or stupider, or worse. Concentrate on solving the issue at hand and not on who is more right.

 

 

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Relationships Tagged With: , ,

How To Deal With Jealousy in a Relationship

September 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

To know how to deal with jealousy in a relationship, you must identify the root cause. Is the jealousy caused by the behavior of your current partner? Is it a result of being burned in your past relationship? Or is it just plain insecurity within you?

How To Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship because of your partner’s behavior

Is your partner the flirty type? Or has your partner broken your trust? Either way if he or she has given you a reason to be jealous and suspicious, jealousy due to this cannot be resolved by you alone. You need to constantly communicate with your partner this feeling and that he or she knows that if you are both to save the relationship, the offending or faltering partner needs to know that he or she has to work doubly hard to earn your trust again, creating, setting agreements to rebuild trust. This does not happen overnight and is a working progress.

The offending partner more than ever needs to know that you need constant reassurance and to win back your trust through transparency and openness. At this point be aware that because of a broken trust, you will tend to have a controlling behavior which might kill the relationship. Being aware of this will help you from being controlling.

Dealing with jealousy due to being burned in a past relationship is however a different matter. You should not come in a new relationship carrying jealousy issues over a past love, and learn to give your new partner a clean slate without casting on him/her a fault of someone else. Nevertheless, it helps to communicate this to your partner so that he/she understands you and can help you heal as you help yourself also get over this fear.


How to get over jealousy due to own insecurity

This stems from lack of self-confidence, and as such, you need to address your esteem issues. Strive to be the best of yourself in every aspect, taking care of yourself physically, cultivating your strengths whether it be at school, work, sports or hobbies. Socialize with friends so as not to put too much focus on your partner – one should never totally build one’s life entirely around your partner alone. You both need independent interests to have a healthy relationship too. And this will keep you from nitpicking on every move your partner makes.

Jealousy is a serious issue and should be dealt with early on, and certainly knowing the root cause always helps one to deal with jealousy in a relationship.

By Hazel Christine Herber

Is jealousy killing you inside and tearing your relationship apart? Find out more on how to stop this and more at author’s website: http://guidance-and-advice.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Relationships Tagged With:

Relationships: How Do I Find a Good Woman?

August 19, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Last evening a handsome young man asked me for some advice about women. He wanted to know how to build a good relationship and indicated that he has been with beautiful women but things just didn’t work out.

Here’s my advice to all confused young men who are craving relationship:

1. Deal with your own issues first – There may be things in your life that you have been neglecting. Are you drinking too much, having problems taking responsibility for your actions or living a life of financial wrecklessness? If these or other things are preventing you from being a mature person, clean them up! Otherwise you will probably attract a woman who is just like you or someone who will end up falling in the role of mothering you! (Do you want to sleep with your mother?)

2. Quit lying to women – If you are just saying what you think that they want to hear, you will not have a successful relationship. First of all, you likely won’t be able to keep the charm going and secondly, you really aren’t being your true self. Be nice but be honest – with yourself and with her!

3. Compatibility is more than physical appearance and sex - Are your backgrounds similar? Do you have the same values and beliefs? Do you enjoy and participate in the same activities? It is extremely important that you match not only your own lives but also the lives of extended family. People who state that you don’t marry the family are dead WRONG! I have seen over 7,000 clients in the past few years and you would be amazed at how many marriages are in trouble because of in-laws and other relatives. Same yourself some problems and do the research before you commit. You wouldn’t buy the first car you saw on the lot, would you?

4. Think long-term – Think about how your relationship will change if your wife is pregnant or you have a couple of little children. The party scene that you enjoy so much now will not fit in once you are a parent. Are you ready to put your money into strollers instead of quads? Do you think the same about employment and finances and family reunions? How will you help her to grow and pursue her personal interests. You see, having a partner means that you need to sacrifice. Prince Daniel made quite a commitment to the Crown Princess Victoria when they married in Sweden in June 2010. He said “I hope I can make her as happy every day as she is today”. Are you ready to set that as a goal or are you just thinking about your own needs?

5. Look on the inside (not just on the outside) - Imagine what life will be like when you are 80 years old and she is 75 years old, possibly in a wheelchair with a urine bag. If you are both in a Nursing Home (on different floors) what will you be looking for? Will it be manicured nails and the latest fashion or will it be a kind heart that is full of love for you?

If you want to find the right woman – you have to be the right man. You see we all marry at the level of our own hurts. Does that scare you? If so, do something about it now before you fall into the wrong relationship.

From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker http://lindahancock.com

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Relationships Tagged With:

What are the Ingredients of a Successful Relationship?

August 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Before you can start to answer this you will need to ask yourself what you consider to be a successful relationship. You need to think about what you are looking for from another person and what you are willing or able to give them in return. This will help you recognise early on if you have or indeed want a future with the person you are dating. 

Once you are committed to each other in a relationship, it is important to recognise what initially brought you together. That is, both physically and emotionally?  What do you like best about his or her personality? This will ensure that you do not take each other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. Taking each other for granted does not necessarily mean that love is fading, it often arises out of a sense of comfort that is felt within the relationship, but it does mean that there is a lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while when they feel comfortable and safe, which can lead to one or more of a couple feeling less valued. So it is important to always try to take time out of your busy schedule during the week to make your partner feel special.

No two people have exactly the same beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important for a successful relationship for both parties to have similar expectations from the relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. For example, is it important to both of you to see each other everyday, if you are not living together, or have sex frequently? Seeing each other daily may seem normal and right to some people, but others may feel smothered and need space to have me-time. The expectation of how often you should have sex differs greatly between people and if each others expectations are not recognised is often the number one cause of relationships ending.

Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which we like, but this does not mean we should take it personally. Always wait, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Getting annoyed and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they may feel attacked, it also shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is key in a successful relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you, which may mean that you need counseling or you should consider leaving the relationship.

Honesty is also at the top of everyone’s list when it comes to what people want from a successful relationship. We all need to know that we can trust our partner, even when we feel that we can’t trust others around us. Once this trust is broken it is hard to repair completely. We all make mistakes and have errors of judgement occasionally. However doing things again and again that we know are hurtful to our partner is not excusable as just human frailty, but is a sign of having no respect or caring for that person. This is not healthy for the relationship and if it continues  the couple should consider why this is happening and whether they have a future.

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Relationships Tagged With:

How Do I Find Love In This Busy World?

August 14, 2011 By Leave a Comment

As a relationship coach one of the questions I hear most often is ‘how do I find love?’.

The success of the on-line dating industry shows that everyone wants to find a wife, or find a husband, or find a life partner. So many people are searching for love which is very sad as it means they believe that something is missing from their lives and don’t realise that they have all they need within them to be happy, right now.

When a client asks me ‘how do I find love?’ I ask them:

a What are they actually looking for ie. what is love to them?
b Why do they want to find love ie. what do they think will change in their lives if they find love?

These questions are crucial, as if you don’t know what love is, you’ll miss it when it comes your way. It might even be in your life right now, but you don’t recognise it as it’s not in the form that you expect.

For example many of my clients are brainwashed by the fairytales they grew up with and the media and believe that love is a feeling that will sweep them off their feet when they meet the ‘right’ person. This is not true. Yes, there are some people who you will be physically attracted to and this will cause chemical reactions in your body. This is not love though, this is chemistry. It may develop into love when you get to know the person, or the physical attraction may wane and you will be left with nothing.

I believe that love is a choice. You choose to love a person for any number of reasons including:

a They are kind and caring;
b They are positive and full of life;
c They are attractive;
d They have a great sense of humour;
e They want the same things from life as you;
f They come from a suitable family and your parents want the marriage.

The fact that love is a choice is demonstrated by the success of arranged marriages throughout the world. In cultures where marriages are arranged the divorce rate is under 10%, as compared to a divorce rate of over 30% in the western world, where marriages are not arranged. Why is this? Well it’s not because relationships are perfect when marriages are arranged. It’s because people approach arranged marriages with a mindset that the relationship will not be perfect but they are going to build a life together despite this. The parties look for the good and focus on this, rather than the bad. The result is a long-lasting union. The universal laws are at work, as by focusing on the positive the couple in the arranged marriage vibrate positive energy and attract positive experiences. Conversely, in the western world couples tend to focus on what is wrong with their partner and what they do not like about their relationship with the result being that they attract more of what they are focusing on.

My advice for finding love is to have a positive mindset and choose to love. Look around and notice someone worthy of your love and then love them without expectation. You will be amazed at what happens.

Tonette Watson is a certified NLP Practitioner with much experience in Business and Life Success strategies.

She is the Founder of Sow For Success http://www.sowforsuccess.com and How Do I Find Love http://howdoifindlove.net.

She offers on-line, telephone and group mentoring and coaching sessions which will change your mindset and empower your life.

She is a skilled relationship mentor and can teach you how to attract the relationship that you are seeking by looking within yourself to determine what you are looking for.

She provides practical advice on what to do and where to look for a person who will bring love into your life.

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Relationships Tagged With:

How To Be A Better Husband To My Wife (Be A Winsome Man) – Create Strong Foundation Of Attraction

August 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

If you want to be a better husband to your wife then you have to be a winsome man and reform your persona. The mistake men make when they try to be a better husband is they do not create strong foundation of attraction. They act like a boy in relationship, instead of being a masculine winsome man.

These days wives are tired of playing the role of mommy. They are exhausted from acting like a mom of their husband. It is against their nature to make all the plans in the relationship and act like a husband.

According to wives, it is tough to find the traits of an actual winsome man in a husband. They never feel undeniable sexual attraction for their husband in long-term relationship.

How To Be A Better Husband To My Wife?

The winsome quality of your persona is the most important thing for your wife. So, for being a better husband, first you need to work on your own persona and make yourself worthy.

Here are my few secrets which not only projected me as a better husband to my wife but also ignited the sexual intensity in my relationship. I doubled the sexual desire of my wife for me with these below secrets.

Be A Winsome Man.

A winsome man is a man with high status and high values. He knows that high status is a major turn on for women. Besides, high status embodies the social status of a person. Especially for women, high social status can be only acquired by high status.

You not only articulate your dominance with high status but also assign yourself like an authoritative masculine man. Let me tell you, a man with high social status is a sexually powerful man for women.

Women judge you from your social status.

In addition, a wife utterly surrenders herself in front of a sexually powerful man and does everything in her power to keep her man happy.

Now, how to project yourself like a winsome man who is authoritative, masculine and sexually powerful?

Fortunately, you do not need money for being a winsome man. Here are few best ways to show yourself like a winsome man.

1. Do Friendship with imperial and decisive people.

Do friendship with fashion designers, restaurant managers, entrepreneurs, sportsmen, meteorologists, and firefighters etc. Your wife observes your personality by watching at your social status. So, avoid being with low status people. Enrich your social status and keep authoritative and decisive people around you in order to make your wife drool over you.

2. Women Love The Masculinity Of Men.

If you want to be a better husband to your wife then you have to be a masculine man and avoid acting like a boy. A masculine man treats her wife like a ravishing lady and give her very special treatment.

He handles tough situation calmly; He keeps his emotions in control; He achieves his targets passionately; He Holds confident body language; He never panics; He speaks slowly through his chest; He is an action taker man and he solves problem quietly rather than complaining about it.

In addition, a masculine winsome man is always the best dressed man in the room. He is financially intelligent and dominates the attention of people with his interesting conversation skills. For a wife, this type of masculine winsome husband is the best.

3. Women Rate Sexually Powerful Man As Sexy.

You have to be a sexually powerful man for being a better husband. A sexually powerful man is a sexually adventurous person. His acts, traits, and persona always convince a woman to do passionate sex with him. His sexual passion makes her wife go crazy for him.

If you want to be a sexually powerful man then you have to do plenty of things. For example, give your wife sexy silk thong, take her dancing, give her massage, be expert in foreplay, learn sex skills and provide her orgasms etc.

You will be worshipped by your wife always if you will transform yourself into a sexually powerful man and satisfy your wife in bed with your amazing sex skills.

These above tips are vital for being a better husband. Being a better husband is not only about giving your wife flowers or taking her to dinners; it is all about being a winsome man. Follow these above tips for making your wife chase you entire life.

By Marry Lengley

 
Filed Under: Advice for Men, Intimacy, Relationships, Within Relationships Tagged With:

How to Make Women Respect You (And Men Too, For That Matter) – Dating Tips For Men

August 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

It’s true – women just don’t respect the majority of guys nowadays.

You only have to look at your standard TV commercial featuring a man and a woman in a domestic scenario. Usually the man is doing something where he thinks he is really clever…then the woman comes along, shows him what a complete idiot he is, and demonstrates the correct way (obviously involving the product being sold).

So it seems we have become little more than fall guys – village idiots for women to point and laugh at.

So here’s the one thing you can use right away to help you regain the respect that we have lost over the years (mainly through our own inadequacies, it must be said):

Get yourself a backbone (order one online, if you have to)

Tattoo this on the inside of your eyelids if you have to.

Ok, so they don’t sell spines online, sadly. But in all seriousness, this is the number one reason why women don’t respect us. They think we will say or do anything in order to get into their pants. They also think that we are like scared little boys, so terrified of disapproval that we would rather pretend to agree with something we think is abhorrent, rather than stick our necks out and say something.

Think of your typical male film hero – often you will see a display of his courage and integrity when he goes against the crowd to speak out against something he believes in. Whether this is the gladiator fighting a solo war to avenge the death of a loved one, a wrongly imprisoned man who stays by his principles and wins through, despite everyone around him falling or the man who stands up to racism, homophobia and other social injustices to finally bring about the change he believes in so passionately.

Films are made about these men, because they are heroes. They are different to the average man (another common theme in my posts – setting yourself apart from the average man) in that they have courage and strength. They are brave enough to speak out against injustice, despite the consequences it may bring.

Think about your own life – when you see the boss bully someone at work, do you call him out on it and speak out, despite the problems it may bring to your own job?

Do you agree with the women in your life on every subject, just so you can have an ‘easy life’?

Do you have something that you are passionate about, a strong cause? It doesn’t have to be a moral or social cause – it could be a musical instrument, travel, writing – anything. Anything that stirs your loins and makes you want to take action. Compare that to the average man who hates his job and lives for the weekend.

So, sit down now and think about the following:

  • What scares you?
  • Think of a time in the past when you wanted to speak your mind, but didn’t. Why didn’t you? What happened? How did you feel about yourself as a result?
  • What would happen if you really spoke your mind and were true to yourself, and everybody disagreed and called you an idiot? What would happen if you lost your job and all your friends as a result? Would you still survive?

 

One of the biggest fears we have to get over is our fear of disapproval. It stops us rising to leadership positions in work (because every senior manager has haters), it stops us getting gorgeous women on our arms (because other men hate you when you walk around with a hot girl), but most of all it stops us respecting ourselves.

And that’s the main thing here – when you start standing up for yourself in difficult situations, you suddenly notice how much more you respect yourself as a result.

And when you respect yourself, you notice that others respect you as well.

When you unleash your inner, naturally attractive real man and learn to attract women without even trying, you will find that people are just drawn to you effortlessly. People respect you, and want to get your advice on stuff all the time.

By Ricky Rogers

Learn more about how to get sexy, gorgeous women hanging on your every word at http://www.smartguydating.com

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Relationships

Online Dating – How To Avoid The 10 Deadly Sins Women Hate

August 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

You spent some time throwing together a profile. Now you’re looking for a date, but all the nice girls seem to evaporate. What’s wrong?

Well, there could be several things that aren’t your fault at all. As with you, so with her – she could be talking to more people than just you and someone else might have her attention. And that’s far from your problem.

So I talked with my sister about just what are the things that women hate when looking at a guy’s profile. Here are her answers:

    1. Blurry pictures – old pictures that don’t show you how you look today – pictures of other women, especially if your arms are around them – pictures of kids – long distance pictures of you where your features aren’t distinguished – pictures of you suited up on a motorbike or snowmobile where, again, she can’t even tell if it’s you.
    1. Old profiles – if it looks like you’ve been on this site forever, you probably have. She will wonder why you’re still here.
    1. In the author section, she wants you to write about yourself, not post a long poem about some other subject. She wants a little of your philosophy, but not a dissertation.
    1. Anger – she can smell it a mile away and she’ll head for the hills.
    1. Whining – a man who whines is a real turn off. Better to take 100% responsibility for everything to do with your life, circumstances, and past. She can respect that.
    1. Not taking the effort to write something. When all the responses are “I’ll tell you later” or “Just ask” it tells her that you’re hard to talk to. She’ll move on to somebody more stimulating.
    1. Talking about your past loves. She doesn’t want to hear it. It says to her that you’re still stuck in the past. You haven’t moved on.
    1. Talking about all your money. Now there are women that are after that, but if you want someone who’s balanced and giving herself, don’t do it. That subject is for a later conversation.
    1. References to sex. If that’s something that’s in your profile, take it out immediately. You don’t want a woman checking out your profile to think that she’s going to be a piece of meat to you. She’ll click off your site and never look back.
  1. Talking about all the people you don’t get along with. If you have problems with your mom or dad or can’t get along with your ex or your bad boss, leave it out of the profile. She’s going to think you are the one that’s hard to get along with, not them and she won’t give you the time of day.

 

Take a look at this long list. If you see yourself in anything here, hey, you’re human. But go fix it. It will improve your chances to find a nice girl a lot sooner.

Learning this online dating stuff? It’s not as complicated as you might think. You’ve just got to follow some guidelines to improve your chances of success. You can check out more great tips at my website and while you’re there, sign up for my free online class, “How To Improve Your Online Profile” You can find it at http://www.yourdateiswaiting.com.

By Teddy West

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Dating, Dating Sites, Dating Tips for Men, Relationships Tagged With: