If you have just finished a relationship especially if it was a long-term one, then moving on is one of the hardest things to do. We have all experienced it, there  is a real tendency to want to keep replaying the same thoughts over and over again. These ‘ if only’ and ‘what might have been’ thoughts even start to give you comfort which is not a good thing. Of course you should reflect on what did go wrong in the finished relationship so that you don’t make the same mistakes again or try to change something that doesn’t need changing. But if you do this too soon when your feelings are still raw then your emotions will cloud your judgement too much.

 The best way to get over a breakup and move on is to try to find things to take your mind off your ex and the breakup. Try to avoid places and things that remind you of your ex if possible, of course this may not be practical if you are still living in a home you shared together. But try to do new things, take up new hobbies or interests, ones that you didn’t share with your ex.

When you move on, you are facing up to the fact that your relationship is over, which is not easy as you may have put a lot into the relationship that has ended and were counting on it providing lasting happiness. But things will get better with time and you will find someone out there who is a better match for you than your ex was.

Start dating again

This is really important although it will be the last thing you will feel like. You do not need to look

for a serious relationship from the offset. But dating can just be a good way of getting out and meeting new people and putting some distance between where you are now and your finished relationship. It will seem strange at first but try to avoid putting your ex on a pedestal and telling yourself that no body will ever be as good as they were. Go out with a number of people and don’t rush into anything, avoid seeking solace from the first sympathetic person who comes along . Take time to find the right person but enjoy yourself along the way. You will soon find yourself thinking less and less about your breakup as you fill your life with new friends and experiences.

When you have just broken up with someone it can be hard to just get on with your life and the emotions involved can seem to take over. You know what you should do as you have given plenty of good advice to others in the past about breaking up, but somehow it doesn’t seem so easy when it is yourself. Even people who have been through a few breakups still find the aftermath of the breakup hard to survive. 

The most important thing for you to remember is that you will get through it and you must do so with your self-esteem as intact as possible. It is a scary time but it is also a new beginning, which is rarely a totally bad thing.

It is important not to bottle up your feelings. Talk to your friends and family members about your feelings. This is a time when it is important to get support from those you trust. You will probably have offered some of them support in the past so don’t feel bad about asking. It is a rare person who has not been through a similar situation to your own at sometime. So they will be able to offer you a friendly ear and listen to your pain. Even if you are not ready for good advice, it is helpful to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Trusting in someone like this can often really bring you closer together as friends , especially if you have shared experiences, so that could certainly be a positive thing to come out of what feels like a total train wreck. 

Never be tempted to speak to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend about how you feel. This will only complicate matters by making you feel that there is still hope for the relationship, or feel guilt for the other’s pain. Which may in turn lead to the relationship being started again when you know that this is not the right thing in the long run. Even if you viewed your ex as your best friend, which will also be making the loss at the moment seem even greater, they are not the person to turn to now. An important part of getting through this is learning to live without your ex and being open to meeting someone new, which is essential if you are to move forward with your life. If you are lucky you may be able to share a friendship again in the future with your ex, but not for a while yet.